Have you ever run away?
This past month has been a real struggle for me mentally and I swear everything felt like it was coming to a catalyst and all I wanted to do was to run away. That’s fight or flight or something isn’t it? The space between the past and your reality, that’s how it feels sometimes. But then I did just that. If you’ve been on my socials lately you know that I went camping and let me tell you how amazing it was.
I truly felt like I was in one of those moments in a book of pure happiness and weightlessness. Spending four days away from everything and really just being. Before this weekend I would tell you I already knew that feeling but I didn’t then. We spent the weekend with no plan, just excited to experience the world around us, excited to wake up with a hot coffee sitting and drinking on a mist surrounded camp ground. I swear, if I could bottle that weekend up I would.
Once we arrived we did what I assume all new arrivals do. Assess the space and figure out how you want your home for the weekend to look. What ground is flat, are there any bugs around, does it provide enough shade. This is what I assume everyone does, and if im wrong dont tell me lol I’m not going to lie and say I had a massive hand in anything this weekend because I was truly along for the ride. I assisted where needed but was so excited inside to really care about anything. We set up camp while we waited for our neighbors to arrive and unpack. Have you ever camped with friends? If not I really suggest doing so because it was amazing.
After an amazing hot dinner, we went to scout out the beach access and found the stairways to heaven. (it was a literal walk way down to the beach) Have you ever been in a sport where you’re so excited to begin? That’s how I felt walking down those steps as the wind grew colder and crisper until finally you felt the cold sand beneath your toes. This is the same moment that keeps me coming back to the coast. The weight of the world is no longer on your shoulders let alone in your mind. Everything is erased and made new in the light of the ocean. You’ve come home. That’s what it feels like. Closing my eyes and I can see it again. The sun setting casting a beautiful warm hue to the world around us. The waves singing their songs of welcome. The wind embracing you as you are and healing you from the outside in.
The childlike joyfulness i’ve always loved but barely let out rushes forward and my face just splits into the most content smile for my heart is home. I know you’re probably like what the fuck Cassie hahah but honestly im just a sappy bitch behind this amazing personality. But truthfully, when was the last time you played like you did as a child? Do you remember feeling so weightless just happy? That was me.
Each trip to the coast I always try to bring a piece of it back, this time I scoured the sands for wood that spoke to me. Wood of all different shapes and sizes. Pieces that will someday be up in my own home as a reminder of the weekend where I was grounded and remind me to continue to ground myself when life gets a little too hard.
That first night, we scoured the tree line to find the best stick for roasting marshmallows. Honestly if you haven’t roasted marshmallows on a stick what are you even doing with your life lol it’s a right of passage lol Spoiler alert, I in fact did not find the best one lol Emily did. This was the kids first time camping and I hope they had as much fun as me.
Sleeping on the floor that first night was honestly amazing. Aside from it being so hard lol I fell asleep so quickly and had the best dreams and sleep i’ve had in a while.
But let me tell you about that first morning coffee. It was everything you can imagine. From the flannel I wore to the mist in the trees, to the picnic bench that’s always just a little wet from the condensation in the air. I ruined my coffee and it was cold lol BUUTTT I loved everything else about the experience and then made up for my coffee errors for the remainder of the weekend lol I guess we found a time and place where iced coffee is not perfect for hahaha
I have to say Felipe really outdid himself with the meals he prepared while we were camping, we had some old favorites along with some new ones. Seeing this man in this light has honestly been my favorite. I swear I can see the childlike version of him ready to explore and do everything. Did I mention it was a truly magical weekend?
That morning we spent on the beach in the overcast morning playing in the sand and exploring the beach. I swear I am healing my inner child wounds by being the mother I am to my children. Seeing them play and connect with one another was honestly so rewarding. I swear I was living in a dream this weekend. Just feeling Felipe’s arms wrapped around my shoulders as we watch our boys playing, it’s in almost every romance novel! and I lived it.
Who would ever want to go back?
But all things must go back to reality right?
One thing i’ve learned is we create the reality we want in our lives so no and yes. Things will be how we want them to be. We’ll keep moments that stood out and the rest will fade like time itself. But in this moment I can still feel the sun gently kissing my exposed skin, the wind blanketing me in sweet caresses soft like a lover, and feel the mist gently cascading over everything providing a world of wonder and excitement of a new adventure.
